Rib Ticklers

#1. Cessna Crash into a Cemetry
A small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

#2 Have a Good Flight
"This is Captain Jack speaking. I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 206 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 31,000 feet across the Atlantic.
"If you look out of the windows , you will observe that both the engines are on fire,on the left side, you will observe that the wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you."
"That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air hostess. Have a good flight!"

#3. World would be Happy
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the New Orleans.
Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone happy."
Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills and make ten people happy."
Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy."
Tipper: "Why don't we all jump and make everybody throughout the world happy."